Troll 2 1990
Supposedly ripping off the 1986 Trolls movie, trolls two is
not related to this movie, and doesn’t even have trolls in it. Without giving
away too much of the plot, (I would hate to spoil such a terrible movie for
you) the movie focuses on a small family from the city, who partake in a ‘house
swap’ with a family from out in the country. However, when they head into this
“middle of nowhere” town of Nilbog (Goblin spelled backwards, how original),
the town folk stare at them eerily and the food is suspiciously green. They end
up being more or less hunted by goblins, a vegetarian eating folk who want to
eat humans badly enough they feed them some strange concoction of plant
material that turns people into…plants.
So there you have the basic premise, and if you’d rather not
waste your time in watching this movie, I will give a more detailed account,
but beware, there will be spoilers.
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| Look into the face of evil.... |
The family in this movie is a mom and dad Diana and Micheal
Waits, a teenager daughter Holly, with atrocious acting skills, and a young
son, Joshua, who talks to the ghost of his dead grandfather, grandpa Seth. The
movie opens with the grandfather creepily reading the boy a story about
goblins, and how they trick people into drinking their plant material goop so
that they can eat them. (Again, because they’re vegetarians. Somehow this all
makes sense).
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| I guess that's another way to have a "green thumb"....Ba-dum TSH! |
The daughter in this movie is having boyfriend issues, in
which everywhere the boyfriend goes, he brings his three BFF’s, even when he
sneaks into her room at night, they’re outside waiting for him.
When the family drives to Nilbog to exchange houses with
this other family, they arrive in daylight, but there’s no one around. The dad
says “well in a farmers town everyone goes to bed by this time at night” even
though by the daylight it’s closer to the after noon. Also, for a farmers town,
it seems strange that there was only one farm.
They meet the family they are doing a house exchange with,
to which they are creepily told “they’re late” and the Nilbog family solemnly
leaves in a hurry, with the Nilbog kid throwing a baseball at Joshua which
reads in what looks like green cake decorating gel “Eat, before we eat you”
They go into the house and find a suspiciously green food
array waiting for them at the table, and Grandpa Seth warns Joshua that it’s
the work of evil goblins, and Joshua has 30 seconds to do something about it to
stop his family from eating.
So, Grandpa Seth froze time. He only does this once, and
despite Grandpa Seth saying Joshua only had 30 seconds, he stands there, stares
out the window, stares at the food, walks around contemplating what to do, and
surely goes over his time limit. However, the plot gives him extra time, to
stand on a chair, and chanting to him self “I have to, I HAVE to” he unzips his
pants…and pees on all of the food.
Time unfreezes and his dad angrily takes Joshua up to his
room, yelling about how you can’t “pee on hospitality.”
Meanwhile, Holly’s boyfriend followed the family to Nilbog
in an old motor home, and camp out near the woods, where they start getting
picked off by goblins.
One of the boys saw a frantic looking woman running through
the forest. So he chases her, even though she looks terrified, and leaps on top
of her. Yup, that’s how you meet girls…
She admits that the goblins made her drink some of the
veggie material, and points dramatically as these poorly masked goblins walk
casually over caring crude wooden weapons. Presumably showing off for the lady,
the guy scolds the goblins, before one throws a spear at him, which hits him in
the chests where he falls down.
A chase scene ensues, and the teens run into a suspicious
looking church-house thing, where we meet the most dramatic character yet.
Waving her eyebrows and squinting a lot, the actress entices them to have a
drink, which of course turns out to be the goblin plant material stuff.
The girl, gasping and crying, while green pours out of her
hairline, drags herself upstairs where she turns into a steaming pile of algae,
which the goblins come out and eat.
The boy realizes he can’t move, (Though I think he takes
this fact really well) and loudly proclaims “They’re eating her…and then
they’re going to eat me…OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”
So for the rest of the movie follows young Joshua with the help
of Grandpa Seth, who is trying to convince his family to get out of Nilbog. They
finally manage to succeed, convincing that Nilbog really DOES have goblins,
when Joshua and his grandpa set one of them on fire. The dad sees the goblin
corpse, and the other goblins become angry.
So the family traps themselves in the house. Awesome.
Meanwhile one of the goblins seduces a guy with a corn on
the cob, (we never find out what really happens to him...) and eventually, somehow, the family manages to defeat the trolls/goblins/whatever, and get out of Nilbog and
put the nightmare behind them. But is it reaaaaallly over?
This scene is really, really weird.
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